


Certain Death To Nargles

by iamisaac



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-03
Updated: 2015-01-03
Packaged: 2018-03-05 03:47:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3104453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamisaac/pseuds/iamisaac
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Severus has escaped from Hogwarts, from the UK, from people. Or at least, he thought he had...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Certain Death To Nargles

Title: Certain Death To Nargles  
Rating: adult/R  
Content Info: *AU: Severus is alive after the Great War. Oral.*  
Summary: Severus has escaped from Hogwarts, from the UK, from people. Or at least, he thought he had...  
Disclaimer: The world of HP and its characters belongs to Rowling.  
Word count: ~3,000  
Author Notes: Many thanks to the lovely J/D who managed to find the really shit bits, separate them from the 'that's going to have to do' bits, and also point out any errors or repetitions! Curia, I really hope this hits some of your kinks somewhere along the line. I got Nargles into the title, at any rate!

 

 

 

He was cold, alone, and tired. But he was alive.  
Alive, and safe away from anyone who knew him; who might want to bestow the equally unwelcome qualities of praise or blame upon him. Three years from the final battle, Voldemort's end, Severus Snape was finally free.

 

 

 

~*~

 

The forest was quiet, deserted. Severus knew it had not been inhabited by wizards or Muggles for years, thanks to its renown as a cursed place. The Muggles called it a legend, but nevertheless they rarely chose to enter its depths. Wizards and witches knew that the curse was all too true. But Severus had been cursed these many years, in so many ways. For him, the forest was refuge, peace.

Which meant that the pain, when it came, was unexpected. Like a hurricane, it ripped through his head, searing his brain, as lights and shapes danced dizzily before his eyes. Severus had become used to bodily pain (as well as that of mind) in the days of Death Eaters and the Order of the Phoenix, but he was unused to being in a position where he could not help himself to heal with magic or potions. For the past three years he had been wandless by choice; only now did he discover that there were distinct problems to living a Muggle-like existence. The pain was simultaneously unbearable and unbeatable.

Five days later, semi-conscious and half-mad from thirst, he discovered the positive side.

At last, he would die.

 

 

 

~*~

 

Severus thought it was a hallucination at first. A woman with dusty blonde hair bending over him. He was vaguely surprised that his mind would fixate on blonde hair: auburn, or even black would surely have been more appropriate. But no. Blonde hair - and very dirty, he noticed.

The woman looked down at him with faintly protuberant eyes.

"Nargles," she murmured, kneeling at his side and putting a surprisingly warm hand on his forehead. "A bad case."

Severus struggled to speak, but she placed a finger over his mouth.

"Shh. Don't say anything. It will only provoke them." She murmured an incantation, and Severus felt his body become almost weightless. "I'd better take you back to base."

 

 

 

~*~

 

Days.

Severus didn't know how many days, and found he did not care much. Days in what was undoubtedly a wizard's (or perhaps he should say _a witch's_ ) tent. Days when the strangely-familiar blonde woman leaned over him, giving him potions and broth in similar amounts. Days when he heard the squeaky tones of (could it really be? Here?) a house-elf - he thought female - though never saw her. Days and days and days.

 

 

 

~*~

 

"What shall I call you?" she asked.

Severus had noticed, as he recovered, that the woman was younger than he had first thought. Twenty, perhaps - little more. A child, really: young enough to be his daughter… but that thought hurt, just a little, and Severus had learned the hard way not to dwell on painful memories.

"Se…" He paused. She was a witch, clearly. Probably too young to know much about what had happened three years ago. Most of the details were still not common knowledge outside a very small, elite, group. And Severus knew he looked little like the man from those times: his hair was as much grey as black, these days; the shaggy beard which had grown during his illness giving his face a different aspect. But still, caution was ever his watchword. "Selwin," he said.

She nodded. "I'm Luna," she said. "Luna Lovegood. But Luna will do."

She had turned away as she spoke, and Severus was grateful for it, for it meant that she had not seen the spark of memory in his eyes. _Luna Lovegood_. It had been a long while since he had heard that name, but she had been there. Three years ago, she had stood alongside Harry Potter and fought for justice. Whilst he…

 

 

 

~*~

 

She had been one of his most irritating pupils, Luna Lovegood. Combining an undeniable brilliance in potion-making with a dreamy air which made it seem as if she never heard a word he was saying - yet if he asked her what he had said, she would repeat his comments back to him perfectly. As well, his pointed sarcasm had apparently slid off her like water from a duck's back.

_"I'm glad, Miss Lovegood, that you find this lesson so interesting," he had once commented, seeing her half-asleep over her notes._

_She had smiled. "So am I, Professor."_

_The worst thing was, she had almost certainly meant it._

 

 

 

~*~

 

He ought to move soon. Get himself away from this girl who, did she but know it, knew the worst of him and his past. But Severus was reluctant to go. He put it down to fatigue, to pain - to anything but Luna. But the fact was, the girl was company. Pleasant company. She neither stayed too long with him, nor stayed too long away. Neither bored him with platitudes nor worried him by awkward questions.

In short, he wanted to stay.

 

 

 

~*~

 

"Hello," said Luna, opening the door to his tent-room slowly. She did that, Severus had realised, to give him time to tell her to go away if he wished. He never had wished - to his surprise more than hers, he thought.  
"Good morning."

"Yes, I think so," Luna said. She bent and placed the gentlest of kisses against his lips. Severus froze.

"Why did you do that?"

Luna jolted and blinked, almost as if he had sent a hex in her direction. "I did it before, when you first got here," she said. "A kiss of kindness is almost certain death to dangerous nargles." She stroked a hand down the side of his face, over his beard, and Severus found a moment to wish that he had been able to shave. He would have liked to feel her fingers against his skin. "You had a very bad case of nargle infestation, you know."

"Is that why you have kissed me again?" he asked. "To make sure the infection doesn't spread?" Previous versions of Severus Snape would have balked at the thought of talking seriously about nargles. He found he had little time for those earlier selves.

"No." Luna sounded surprised. "Should I?" She frowned. "Do you think you're still infested?"

He smiled. It felt odd. "No," he said. "No, I don't think that. But why did you kiss me?"

Luna looked at him seriously. "Because I wanted to, of course."

 

 

 

~*~

 

She was young enough to be his daughter. She was young enough to be his daughter, but the feelings he had for her were very far from fatherly.

 

 

 

~*~

 

Severus took his first few steps, wrapped in one of his blankets. He didn't know what had happened to his clothes, for when he had come to, he had found himself naked. He tried not to think about Luna undressing him. The thought unsettled him: he had been content to be alone - relieved, indeed, to be without the pressures of other people. People who wanted something of him, or people from whom he wanted something. He _did not want_ to care about someone again. Caring only brought pain. Caring about a child like Luna when he was an old, wicked, bitter man could only bring sorrow to them both.

 

 

 

~*~

 

"If you don't want me to kiss you then I won't," Luna said, handing him the broth the next day.

Severus said nothing.

"But I think you don't mind," she continued, her eyes fixed on him.

Sometimes it felt as if Luna knew what was in his head. Strangely, he found he liked it.

"I don't mind," he said quietly.

 

 

 

~*~

 

It was strangely pleasant in Luna's camp. When Severus was reunited with his clothes, and well enough to go outside the tent, he saw a house-elf, dressed in something that looked rather like a denim sack, beavering away at the food for dinner. Probably making broth, he thought resignedly. Luna seemed determined to feed him broth on any and every occasion.

The camp was in a glade, and the sun filtered down between the leaves; and if it was not actually warm, it certainly left the impression of warmth.

"Hello, Mr Selwin," squeaked the house-elf, turning and noticing him. "You is well now?"

"Yes," said Severus, wondering why his returned good health felt like a millstone round his neck. Shrugging the thought aside, he added, "What's your name?"

"Milly."

"House-elf?" Severus asked, though he thought he knew the answer. He was wrong.

"Free-elf," said Milly proudly.

Of course, now Severus considered the matter, it would have been extremely un-Luna-like to have a house-elf, which had always, really, been a euphemism for 'slave'.

"Congratulations," he said, somewhat awkwardly.

Milly smiled and went back to her work. Severus, his legs still more shaky than he cared to admit to, sat down near the fire. Purple and pink sparks kept flickering skywards, making it once again clear that this was no Muggle settlement. It was peaceful here, Milly consumed in her own work and Luna out somewhere, looking for Merlin-knew-what.

 

 

 

~*~

 

Two weeks later, when Severus had almost forgotten the conversation - though he was still getting used to the pleasant oddity of being kissed - Luna spoke. It was unlike her to hark back on past events, but it seemed this once she felt the need to do so.

"I think _I_ would have minded," she said matter-of-factly.

"Minded what?"

"If I couldn't kiss you."

The truth felt strange and rusty on Severus's lips. "Yes," he said. "So would I."

 

 

 

~*~

 

If Severus had been asked, he would have said that the likelihood of him falling in love was so slim as to be negligible. The idea of his falling for a woman regarded by her friends and enemies alike as loony, if not mentally deranged, was ridiculous - especially when the girl was half his age.

The likelihood of anyone liking, let alone loving, him was, of course, impossible. Except with Luna nothing was impossible. In a tent, in the middle of a deserted forest, Severus was slowly but surely falling in love with a woman who evidently reciprocated his feelings. For the first time, perhaps, in his life (he realised with a sense of disbelief), Severus was happy.

 

 

 

~*~

 

Her lips on his, warm and willing. One hand running through his hair as the other wrapped itself around him, holding him close. The feel of her - vital, comforting, alive - in his arms. Wanting to be in his arms. Wanting _him_.

She was unbuttoning his robes, pulling away a little to do so.

"May I?"

"Do you need to ask?"

"Well, it is so frustrating when people make you do things against your will," Luna explained, kissing a path down his chest as she exposed it. "I've found that a lot," she added seriously.

"I also."

She continued down his body, kneeling to undo the last buttons, and to remove his underwear. Her pale blue eyes looked up at him, a tentative question in them. He nodded; and she leaned forward, taking his erection between her lips.

Struggling to keep his voice steady, Severus said: "This is not against my will."

He could feel the smile around his cock. He was struck again by the strangeness of Luna: she didn't want anything from him, wasn't trying to manipulate him in any way. She was doing this because _she wanted to_. True magic. His thoughts spun away from him as Luna licked from base to tip of his prick and back down again. She tongued his slit gently, then sucked him further into her mouth. He gasped. He was not inexperienced, but... well, perhaps he was inexperienced in love-making, whatever he had known of sex. This was something different entirely. Magic, he thought again.

Luna's hands reached up to grasp his hips, allowing her to take him further still into her mouth. He could feel her tongue trailing along the base of his cock even as she drew him inside her. There were so many things he would have liked to do for her, but this was not the place, the time. He knew this - knew it without guilt. Later (he hoped) he could please Luna as she was pleasing him, but for now...

She was deep-throating him and he groaned at the sensation. Her fingers dug into his arse, and her forehead was wet with sweat, her long hair sticking to her face. Severus shut his eyes, and then opened them again, because he wanted to see this miracle, this beautiful girl who loved him. She was out of focus, but that didn't matter: in some ways, Luna was always out of focus; dancing to the beat of another drum, another...

Severus came.

 

 

 

~*~

 

There were times after - many times after - when he gave to her as well as received. Almost, it gave him more pleasure to pleasure her than to receive her attentions: in love-making, as in everything, Luna gave all of herself and held back nothing. Watching her lying, her back arched, on his bed as he suckled on her nipples each in turn... feeling her buck her hips as his warm mouth closed over her clit... the amazing feeling of sliding inside her, her depths opening to him with the eager willingness of the woman herself...

Her eyes would always open at the moment of orgasm, fixing on his face with an intensity he found strangely erotic. Those light blue eyes, looking as if they could see right through him. Sometimes he thought that they did.

 

 

 

~*~

 

No pretence. That was the thing about Luna. There was never any pretence. What Luna thought, she said. After a life of lies and counter-lies, it was strangely relaxing. And in turn, Severus found himself doing something he had never, perhaps, done in his life before: telling the truth.

Well, except for one thing...

 

 

 

~*~

 

"I like you," Luna said unexpectedly one day.

Severus said nothing - for what on earth was there to say to that?

"As well as the other things," Luna explained. "I mean, like and love can be such different feelings, don't you think?"

Severus didn't think; had never considered the idea, in fact. But now Luna mentioned it...

When had he fallen in love? In love with this chit of a girl who was young enough that he should never have felt the things he felt for her, let alone fallen in love with her.

He had loved Lily, but he hadn't always liked her. Unknowingly, perhaps, she had always demanded something from him - expected him to be different. Luna expected nothing. To her, he was Selwin - her lover, her love. And also, it seemed, her friend. Severus found to his surprise that that meant more than anything else. Had he ever, truly, had a friend? He suspected he had not.

"I like you, also," he said; perhaps a more meaningful statement than any declaration of love.

 

 

 

~*~

 

The words made one thing clear to him, however. Severus Snape had never thought of himself as a coward - many other things, perhaps, but no coward. Yet his conscience was troubling him, no matter how much he tried to ignore it. How could he call his feeling for Luna 'love' when he shied away from telling her the truth about himself? How could he deserve Luna's affection when she didn't even know who he was?

He had lived a lifetime without love. He could live another the same way, if he had to. Luna deserved the truth.

 

 

 

~*~

 

Whatever came, Severus would always be grateful to her - always love her. A child half his age had taught him more than the greatest wizards of their time. More than Dumbledore... and Severus still found it hurt to think of him, even now. Dumbledore had taught him about wizardry, about manipulation, power and wisdom. Luna had taught him something both simpler and more complex. She had taught him what it meant to love.

But he must tell her. Severus knew that in all justice, he could do nothing but tell Luna who he was. He'd kept secrets and told lies all his life. Going away from everyone had been intended as a new start, but meeting Luna had changed all that. Severus was beginning to realise that you could never leave the past behind: it was within yourself. And yet, he did not feel like that man, the one who had done all those things - good, bad, but actually mainly (as most people must find in their lives) indifferent.

 

 

 

~*~

 

Severus took a deep breath. It was time. He looked again at Luna Lovegood, tracing the features which had made their impression on him when she was just another irritating student; moving on to gaze over them again, remembering everything he loved about her.

Then he spoke.

"My true name is Severus Snape."

Luna nodded. "Yes."

"You knew?"

"Of course." Luna took his hand, kissed his cheek, her face unburdened with worry or doubt. "I've always known."


End file.
